One-liners - thick and fast

• He pushed his friend under a steamroller because he wanted a flat mate!
• He'd give his right arm to be ambidexterous!
• His secretary is a miracle worked - its a miracle if she works!
• How many millions of time have I warned you not to exaggerate!
• The lobster went to the disco - and pulled a mussel!
• The fire at the local camp site - the heat was intents!
• The wedding was really emotional - even the cake was in tiers!
• Don't marry for money - you can borrow it cheaper!
• Take a 9 to 5 job in Las Vegas - the wages are poor but the odds are great!
• It isn't easy being a Mother - if it were Fathers would do it!
• He became a baker because he kneaded the dough!
• I love work - I could watch it all day!
• A little honey is good for you - until your wife finds out!
• Home is the place where teenagers go to refuel!
• He took the defeat like a man - he blamed it on his wife!
• I used to be indecisive, now I'm not sure!
• If your parents didn't have any children, there's a good chance you won't either.

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