Stupidity Jokes

People have been telling jokes about their "Stupid" neighbors since time immemorial. However, the tellers can often be more stupid than the butt of their jokes. Tell these jokes at your peril! (Note, jokes marker * have been submitted by site visitors).

There is stupidity and then there is generosity, however, there is a limit to generosity!!!

He's (or she's) so stupid that:

When it came to the bit on the form that said "sign here" she wrote "Sagittarius"

When he graduated from nursery he was so excited that he could hardly shave.

If you gave him a penny for his thoughts you'd get change!

He invented a new type of parachute - it opens on impact!

He thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company!

He sold his car for gasoline money!

He can't count to 20 with his shoes on!

He stood in front of the mirror with his eyes shut - just to see what he looked like asleep!

His boss stopped his lunch breaks - it took too long to retrain him!

He got a pet Zebra and called it spot.

He heard that most car accidents happen with 3 miles of home!

So he moved house!

More Insults?

Scientists are trying to build the ultimate moron; and using him as the blueprint!

Brains aren't everything. In his case they're nothing!

He claims he has an open mind; if you ask me its just vacant!

He doesn't know his own mind - well he hasn't missed much!

He speaks his mind - but it limits the conversation!

He's a self made man who gave the job to the lowest bidder!

If ignorance is bliss he must be ecstatic!

Men like him don't grow on trees - they swing from them!

He called himself a wit - well he was half right!

When he graduated from nursery school he was so excited he could hardly shave!

He had an accident at work today - he was struck by a thought!

Teacher

Dennis, Your shoes are on the wrong feet!

Dennis

But Ma'am, these are the only feet I've got!

I asked the local garage man if my indicators were working. So he stood behind the car while I switched them on.

"Yes, they are!", he replied. "No, they're not, Yes they are. No, they're not, Yes they are. No, they're not, Yes they are. "

Think you can do better? Sure you can! Why not email your joke for inclusion in our visitors section to us at jokes@makeemlaugh.com. Please email jokes with your name and state or country for publication. Please let us have you name, address and telephone number (not for publication) and your email address indicating if you would like us to publish it with your joke!