Visitors Jokes Page 1

If you like these we have more blonde jokes in our own collection.

This blonde went on a tour of an alligator swamp and then she decided to go buy some original alligator skin boots. She went to every store but they were all to expensive.

She asked the assistant if there were any cheaper ones but he said no. So she said," I'll just go make my own"

Later that day the store assitant was driving down the road, when he saw the blonde. She was up to her waist in the swamp wrestling with a 9 ft alligator. He was amazed.

She dragged the alligator out of the water, flipped him over by the other 3 alligators and screamed,"This ones not wearing any boots either".

There was a poor blonde. She decided to hold a kid ransom for money, so she goes to the playground and grabs a kid. She writes a note "Leave 1 million dollars under the tree in the park or I won't return your kid. Signed, a blonde." She then pins the note to the kid and tells him to give it to his mummy.

The next day she goes to the park and sure enough there's a bag with 1 million dollars. There's also a note inside that reads: "How could you do this to another blonde."

What is the definition of eternity?: 4 blondes at a 4-way stop!
What do you call 10 blondes lined up in a row?: A wind tunnel.
Why did the blonde only tie one shoelace?: Because the label inside said 'Taiwan'.
Why did the blonde wear a wet t-shirt?: Because the label inside said 'wash and wear'
How did the blonde get off the roof?: She asked for directions.
How many blonde jokes are there?: None. There all true.
Why did it take the blonde so long to make chocolate chip cookies?: She had to peel the M&M's.
Why couldn't the blonde kill the fish?: She tried to drown it.

After a hard day of working out at the gym three blondes were going to go home but they discovered that they had locked their keys in their convertible. They tried every thing to get the door opened; they used a clothes hanger, tried to pick the lock and any thing else they could think of. After about a hour one of the girls said in desperation, " We better hurry and get in! It's about to rain and we left the top down!"

Three blondes were walking down the beach when they came upon an old genie lamp. When they rubbed it genie came out and granted them each a wish.

The first blonde wished that she could be a little bit smarter than she was. The genie waved his hands and she became a brunette.

The second blonde wished that she could be a lot smarter than she was. The genie waved his hands and she became a red head.

The third blonde hesitated and stated that she would like to outdo them all and be smarter yet. The gee]nie turned her into a man.

A blonde was driving to Disneyland when she sees a sign: "Disneyland left". So she turned round and went home!

Why do blondes wear hoop ear rings?: To have a place to hang their feet!
What do you call 10 blondes in a freezer?: Frosted Flakes!
What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?: Artiicial Intelligence.
How do you drown a blonde?: Put a mirror on the bottom of the pool!
What do you call a Blonde with two brain cells?: Pregnant!
There were three blondes that decided to go deer hunting. They came across some tracks . One blonde said "I'll get a better look at them more closely." and as she crouched down the train ran her over!"

A blonde and a brunette are watching the 11pm news. The top story is about a man on a cliff about to commit suicide. A commercial comes and the brunette bets the blonde 20 dollars that the guy jumps. Sure enough, when the news comes back the man jumps. The Blonde gets out a twenty and tries to give it to the brunette who returns it claiming she didn't win it fairly.
The Blonde insist it was fair and gives her the money again. The brunette says,"No, no! I watched the 6 clock news, I knew he was going to jump."
Then the blonde says, "But I watched the earlier news too. I didn't think he would be stupid enough to jump twice!"

What does a blonde say after six years of University?: Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order please?
Why did the blonde couple die at the drive-in?: They went to see "Closed for Winter".

Two blondes were walking along by the river; one was on the east side and the other on the west. The one on the east yells to the one on the west "How do you get to the other side?" and the other replies "You are on the other side!"

Three Blondes are walking, and they see tracks
Blonde one says: "Hey, I think they're deer tracks!"
Blonde two says: "No, no they're bear tracks!"
Blonde three replies: "No, both of you are wrong, they're rabbit tracks."
They were still discussing it when the train hit them!

Why did a blonde keep an empty milkbottle in her fridge?: For those people that prefers black coffee.
What did a blonde say when she woke up under a cow?: Hey, Good morning guys.
Why did the blond bury her car engine?: The battery was dead.
What is the definition of a skeleton?: A strip show that went to far.
How do you confuse a blonde?: Put her in a round hut and ask her to find the corner.
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?: She fell out of the tree.
If Tarzan and Jane were blonde what would Cheetah be?: The most intelligent of the three!
Why do blondes run out side when it's thundering and lightening?: They think they're getting their picture taken.
What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of cheerios?: "Oh look!! doughnut seeds!!"
Why can't a blonde make kool-aid?: Because she can't fit 2 quarts of water into the little packet!

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were driving along a country road when they saw a farm. They decided to get out and have a nose around. All of the sudden they see the farmer come out. "Get off my land!", he yells at the top of his voice obviously very angry
The girls scatter and hide. The red head runs in to a pen full of sheep. The farmer yells, " Hey, I saw you go in there, come out here!": But the red head goes: "BAAAHHH" and after a while the farmer thought he might be mistaken and left.
The brunette ran into a field full of cows and the farmer ran after her and yells, " Hey I saw you go in there, come out here!": But the brunette goes "MMMOOOO!" and after a while the farmer thought he might be mistaken and left.
The blonde ran into the potato bin and the farmer chases her and yells " Hey I saw you go in there! Come out!".: And the blonde goes "POTATO!"

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